“We’re in our 40s now we’re still attractive - very,” he said. However, combined with his attractive wife, both performing musicians, the attention has not let up in the slightest. I’ve had many experiences in my past where they didn’t take me seriously and I think it’s very much because of how they perceive my appearance.” ‘In the long run it’s made me grow and own who I am’įor Steven, at 44, he too feels he’s finally being taken more seriously, but only because he’s been at music for 20 years now. Whether it’s with my music, or the films I’m creating. What I probably want more than anything in life is to be taken seriously. “That sexual attention - it’s not wanted,” Chris says. Still, he’s enjoying getting older and the lack of attention, because with it has finally come the holy grail of being taken seriously. For men in particular, being attractive means their business presentations are even better received.īut a few years ago, Tinder noted that men who are too attractive don’t get as many swipes in the romance and hookup department because women tend to associate it with “arrogance and narcissism.” It’s also called a Don Draper effect, where excessively handsome men get away with being alcoholic, narcissistic cheats for longer than an average man pulling the same shit could. Like women, research shows, some men benefit from a similar “ halo effect,” which presumes better-looking men are nicer, kinder and smarter. This isn’t always how it goes for good looking men, though. If I didn’t do my side work, I could pretend I spaced out or something. I could get away with things if everyone thought I was dumb. “I existed five or six years, and never quite went away,” he said. That presumption about his looks directly reflecting a shallow mind got old too, so every now and then he’d take advantage of it, just like in high school. All this has a passive-aggressive, negative effect on your subconscious if you’re not careful.” “Then you have the whole people-calling-you-‘Mr. “It will completely take people aback that I have a degree in physics,” he said. Sometimes the sense that people think he can’t be intelligent comes up in other ways.
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“For my wife, a drummer, the sound man will go up to her as she’s setting up her drum kit and say, ‘So, where’s your drummer?’” “You get people who come up and say they saw how you look and just didn’t think you could play,” he said. But there, in a town searching for gritty authenticity in its songwriters, they both met a lot of skepticism about being too good-looking to be believable or talented at the music itself, something he said still happens to the both of them after a show. In New York he met his wife - who is, of course, also ridiculously good-looking - and they moved to Nashville to pursue a band. ‘All this has a passive-aggressive, negative effect on your subconscious’ I could only be so good at it because my heart just wasn’t in it.” But being a model, I didn’t find much emotional or spiritual substance in it. “It’s not a dis to people in the fashion industry who find love and art in it,” he says. Even though it helped him get past feeling uncomfortable with his physical blessings, it just didn’t feel right. Still, something in it just felt bad to him. But their looks were more matter-of-fact for them. Others were just beautiful people with no other marketable skills. There were some models who were simply gaming their looks to make a lot of cash in a short period of time to pay for medical school. “By then I was more comfortable with my looks, and it sure beat being a bartender or waiter in terms of money, hours and lifestyle,” so he kept it going, he says.įor Steven, hanging out with other lookers was a crash course in how well some people wear it, and a roadmap to how he might lean in. But that means I have their photos and you don’t. And who could blame them? The last thing any good looking man wants is to identify himself not just a being good looking, but knowing it.
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What is it like to go through a “normal” life being too good-looking? I spoke with two men, one gay and one straight, both of whom have always been objectively, empirically, ridiculously hot, and encouraged them to be as candid as possible.īoth men preferred to remain anonymous for this interview. Turns out you don’t have to be Robert Redford to have this problem. In interviews, Redford notes that he actually enjoyed getting older because he “didn’t have to worry about being admired for his looks” so much. As a pretty boy, he says, being taken seriously has been a decades-long battle. Robert Redford has officially retired from acting, and in spite of his long and storied career as an actor, director, Sundance founder and elder statesman of film, he has also spent his life as a looker.